There’s nothing worse than being on hold.

Maybe you’re on your blackberry (stranded without a headset) so you’re holding the thing to your hear for an hour, listening to some terrible music on repeat <— I’m THAT girl.

Maybe you’re at home on an old-school phone with a cord and can’t move from your current position (how did anyone ever do anything!?)

Or maybe you’re at work, trying to take care of some business while on your lunch break, and you’re still on hold and 1:00 is approaching rapidly.

Regardless of whatever situation you find yourself in, telephone “menus” are a true non-value added experience. Sometimes you hit the wrong button or find yourself in the wrong place.

Usually, if you want to get connected to a “human,” you hit 0… but this is not always the case, so I’ve used GetHuman for those key commands that will route you to a real life person (shocking I know, how did you ever live without it!!) For example, if you’re calling GE Money bank (shoutout) .. according to Get Human you would, “Press 1, then don’t press or say anything.”

Another example is PhoneTreeShortcuts.com, where you can find out the shortcuts for various phone menus. But something’s missing with these options…

When I first heard about fonolo, I misspelled it about three different times in Google, but I’m glad that I did. The site transcribes phone menus from many large companies, so you can scan them quickly.

Fonolo uses visual navigation to allow for the most user-friendly experience. You choose where you need to go, and fonolo will automatically dial the number, navigate their menu and then CALL YOUR PHONE. When you answer, you will be connected to your final destination. not bad.

According to Cnet, fonolo is planning to let you record these calls (potentially for sending to the Better Business Bureau or other such organizations), although the feature is currently disabled.

An added bonus– say you’ve been in a major argument with your credit card company (a good example in this economy) for secretly raising the interest rate on your card. This app lets you take notes and organize what happened when, and on what call. So, when that mean lady on the other line asks you for information (and secretly doesn’t think you know it). You’ll be there. ready.

Go show ‘em who’s boss, guys (and girls).

So, in my first rotation as a GE IMLP, it looks like I’m going to be working with some fun, new technologies. Maybe even some crazy satellite stuff.

And it’s not just me. A couple of my IMLP coworkers need to navigate their way through some technical documents and training.

But how?

Newton’s Telecom Dictionary. It basically held my hand through computer networking and other technical classes in college. With wit and humor, Harry Newton will help you breakdown high level technical terms in a means that can actually be understood by humans.

It’s like this reviewer said on Amazon:

Harry does a great job of defining telco terms and acronyms in plain English and not by using other complex terms and acronyms. This is much more significant than it sounds at first. It is simply impossible for any professional to know every last obscure acronym and term used in this expansive and ever-growing industry over the past 100 years. Harry will help to make sure that you never have to ask anyone else what in the heck their TLA’s mean. You will be the Alpha-geek. All others will bow in your presence. Life will be good.

Newton’s Telecom Dictionary has one more unique trait. Harry’s wry sense of humor has threaded itself into many of the definitions. This is one of those rare tomes that you can sit down with and randomly read for enjoyment. Whenever there is an interesting and/or humorous story behind a telco term, Harry inevitably includes it with the definition. This dictionary can be fun to read! This is especially nice if someone walks into your work space and catches you reading your dictionary. They will never suspect you of goofing off!

-Christopher Erickson
Intrepid Engineer of the Far North

My conclusion. If you work with technology (who doesn’t?) buy an edition of this dictionary. If you’re cost conscious right now, buy an older edition (they come out annually). The 2005 edition is $1.89. Seriously.