This one's for the Cinderella Reference.
If Prince Charming lived in today’s New York, he might turn to Missed Connections’ in his search for Cinderella. “We danced at last night’s ball, but you bolted at midnight,” he might write. “I didn’t even get your name, only a glass slipper. E-mail me if you get this.” -New York Times
While getting into a twitter conversation with my friend George (while simultaneously talking on gChat), I was totally making fun of him for tweeting on the hotness factor of a girl sitting next to him at a coffee house. After suggesting that he should post something on Craigslist’s “missed connections,” he immediately referred me to another way to tell that stranger you’re interested.
In order for this to work (and not be creepy)– it obviously depends on the people involved, and of course, how well you write.
If you’re going to post something on craigslist or yelp, or well, anywhere.. just don’t be creepy (please)
Ex: NYC Craigslist “Rain”
I have never done this before, but it was such a kind gesture and you were so sweet. We were both waiting outside in the rain trying to hail a cab. (on Bowery and Bleeker). I let you under my umbrella since you didn’t have one. We had some small talk while waiting, you asked where I was going (you were going to Murry Hill?) You hailed down a black car, handed me money and said “you seem like a nice girl, here is $x and please take this car home, Its all set.” After a moment of hesitation, I jumped into the car since it was so gross out. After I got in the car, I wished we had exchanged information – you were very cute and I was totally taken back by your kind gesture. Maybe you are out there? : ) [blogger's comment. <--cute, not creepy.]
Another (very creative) option: Yelp. It’s great. I love it. George’s friend took a different approach to finding that “Mr. Perfect” and posted something in her yelp review about this mystery man.
Dear hot boy in dark blazer with hat, who came in around 10pm on September 24th, 2009,
I need your # or email. Thankyouverymuch.
…what? Craigslist is so 2007.
It’s cute. She didn’t give too many details (i.e. what you were reading, exact height, web sites you were browsing, your SSN or bank account passwords, etc.) It is highly recommended that EVEN IF you know these details, you do not share them with the internet, and the other person. (ex: 6’4″ = “very tall”). AND ALSO that you require some validation in exchange. (This should help to keep desperate creepers away.)
Next question. Do people actually find each other via these types of digital, internet-assisted “missed connections” connecting sites? An article via NYT (2005) tells the story of a couple who did something about that missed connection.
It’s a different approach from going on Match.com… as you’ve actually seen the person IRL first.
[Technyess Advice: PLEASE PLEASE always be careful when meeting people you have never met before. It's fun, and sometimes super romantic - but air on the side of caution. OK thats it for the mom in me.. for now. hehe]
Give the Gift of Your Attention
Everything is vying for our attention. EVERYTHING.
And in time, maybe we’ll train ourselves to become better at managing the hierarchy of distractions (infographic shoutout!) but in today’s world, the expectations are increasingly becoming that we’ll repond to everything, from wherever we are and whatever we are doing.
We bring our smart phones to bed. People use them in the bathroom (ew, but true). We hate turning them off when the plane is about to take off, and rush to turn them back on when we’ve landed.
Often it’s “too much to ask” to have someone turn off their phone when you’re spending time with them. There’s always the e-mail from work you’re expecting, that text message from a friend you’re meeting up with later, or an update email from a family member who’s going through a rough time. Now add in the mobile apps, status updates, comments, and checking in.
Bottom line: there’s a lot going on out there.
So when it comes down to giving a gift – there’s nothing more thoughtful or romantic than giving the gift of your full attention (that’s right- phone off).
Can you do it?
//Purchase The “Phonekerchief” via Uncommon Goods for $15
BONUS: how it works –
The Phonekerchief fabric is conductive (conducts electricity) because it is partially made up of silver fibers. When the fabric creates an unbroken enclosure (when it is wrapped tightly around a phone without any gaps), it creates a phenomenon that is known in science as a “Faraday Cage”. This means that any external static electrical field, such as a phone signal, will cause the electrical charges within the conducting fabric to redistribute themselves so as to cancel the field’s effects on what is inside. In order for the Phonekerchief to work effectively, the fabric must be wrapped tightly around the phone and create an unbroken enclosure.